It’s officially the month of Christmas. When it comes to December, I’m not going to lie, I’m the happiest little Jew in Boston. Honestly- the lights, the music, the FOOD, what’s not to love about Christmas? [Insert something about religion here] Either way, Love Actually taught us all that Christmas might be fun, but also just reminds us how and lonely we are. So by now, in my book, Christmas = Food = Love ≤ Seasonal Depression. Yes, walking home at 5pm yet feeling like it’s 9pm because daylight savings really doesn’t help the Northeast, eating more because brands lie to you with the word “seasonal”, realizing that everyone has someone except for you. Maybe that last part only relates to me, but I’m sure you know where this is going.
Skipping to the end, here’s a fabulous Top 5 Songs That Kick Love in the Face. This was harder to compile since most songs fall into the “Love Stinks” and “You Give Love A Bad Name” category (what I mean to say here is: CHEESY). I scoured my iTunes library of random assortments and came up with an eclectic alternative list that (I hope) will be refreshing. These are the kind of songs you want to pull a Ren McCormack on and just dance all your frustrations away. Enjoy. Oh, and I’m not a grump, I promise.
Top 5 Songs That Kick Love in the Face (in no particular order):
“I Will Love Again” by Lara Fabian: It reached #1 on the hot dance club charts in 2000 (thought for some reason I always think it came out in the mid-nineties), it’s catchy, and it’s just ridiculously sassy. Lara’s vocal range sends me into a coma when I’m trying to impersonate her while driving, and honestly the lyrics say it all. The positive message gets bonus points. Phrase that pays: “I will love again, though my heart is breaking, I will love again stronger than before…I will love again even if it takes a lifetime to get over you.”
“Your New Boyfriend Wears Girl Pants” by Zebrahead: The song tells a story of a girl cheating on her boyfriend. Does the boyfriend sulk? No, because that would defeat the purpose of my list. He realizes she’s dumb and he’s better without her. A bit on the slower side, but the rap/rock still packs a punch. B+ Phrase that pays: “…All my mistakes could never add up to the only one that you just made…Where you meant the world to me, but finally getting free and it just hit me.” Okay, so the end rhyme could be a little more original. It grows on you.
“Wish Me Well (You Can Go To Hell) by Bouncing Souls: This song kicks ass. It’s perfect for when both parties want to kill each other with equal gusto. It’s the kind of song that people who love “Gives You Hell” by The All-American Rejects would like. The bitter side of me can’t help but chuckle. Also, the spoken-word argument at the end is both adorable and fierce. Phrase that pays: “Love is supposed to make us happy, supposed to make us grow…But I just wanna punch you in the face…Say goodbye (Kiss my ass I hope you die)…” Tee hee. I’m just immature enough to love it.
“Every Man Has A Molly” by Say Anything: Well there’s no positive “cheer up kid” message in this one, but oh boy do I love it! We’ll venture off the path for a moment to take into consideration how flippin’ awesome Say Anything is. Max Bemis’ vocals make me shiver. His songs are cleverly written poems interspersed with profanity and cynical views that, admit it, we all share. Except he just says everything so much better than we ever will. This song makes me want to throw things and punch the air at the same time. Phrase that pays: “Can’t stop thinking about what she did wrong to me, just can’t figure out what I did wrong. Kill myself thinking about things that you did to me, Molly…”
“Ask the Lonely” by Journey: Hell yes! I love Journey. I saw them in concert with my dad (we’re hip). This is my absolute favorite song of theirs. “Don’t Stop Believin’” is overplayed and overestimated. You should see me sing this at top volume in my house when I’m alone, now that’s a show. Steve Perry sings the hell out of this song, too. On top of that, it’s such a pick-me-up without risking the cheese factor that comes with many 80′s bands. I’ll admit, this is my total “dance your frustrations out” tune. A+++Phrase that pays: “Hang on, no don’t let go now. You know, with every heartbeat, we learn. Nothing comes easy. Hang on, ask the lonely.” And I jump from my chair to my couch and do a back-flip off the wall whilst performing the air-guitar (and drums and keyboard). Rock and roll, baby.
Here’s Bret from Flight of the Conchords doing his best Ren impression. This is what I mean by dancing out your anger. Also what I look like when I’ve been left to my own devices with a Journey album in hand. Good night.
-Estherocket
